How to be a Ninja
by shikashikanaranara
Summary: Ever wondered how to be a ninja? Your search ends here! [No flamers. They are gay. If you want to flame, then find some other story. [[Does not contain actual steps....but you can try?]]]
1. Genin

Shikashikanaranara: I want no flamers for this story. And Please read the first thing in more profile. It's URGENT… to flamers……

_**HOW TO BE A NINJA!**_

_Warning: This Ninja Kit contains assembly, and requires adult supervision. Not to be swallowed, or thrown without further instruction. Not for children under 4._

_Caution: Contents may include sharp pointy things. _

**Ninja kit basics instructions: Open Ninja Kit with steak knife, pour contents out onto bed to be safe. Take out training uniform, wear it. Training uniform allows you to be more flexible and move easier in training. Also a great start for beginners. Slip on sandals.**

**XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX **

**Assembly instructions: Strap belt on waist. Latch leather weapon pouch on belt, do not load with weapons. Wrap bandages around your left thigh and right area between knee and ankle. If you are left handed, then visa versa. Attach second leather pouch on the lower bandage. Do not fill with needles yet.**

**XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX **

**IMPORTANT: Train to get used to outfit before loading with weapons: Kunai, Shuriken, needles, Explosive notes, scrolls, etc.**

**Inquire Hokage-sama of the Ninja Academy.**

**XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX **

**MOLDING CHAKRA: First time finding chakra, find a peaceful place. Try near a tributary.**

**Find the chakra within you.**

**Pull at it, not forcefully, guide it.**

**Guide it towards where you want the chakra concentrated**

**Handseals help mold, after this exercise, it will be easy to mold chakra**

**XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX **

**There are six places to place your forehead projector:**

**Forhead**

**Use as Headband**

**Arm**

**Around Neck**

**Waist**

**Thigh**

**And if you find more places, then congradulations.**

**XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX **

**TEAMWORK: Being a ninja requires teamwork. Get to know your team, know their abilities, figure out their way of attacking. Help them train! Continue this and you will be a great ninja.  
**

**Congradulations, by the time you finish, you are an exceptional ninja.**

**XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX **

**To get to Chuunin, purchase the "Chuunin Chapter Kit".**

**Coming soon.**

Shikashikanaranara: There will be….meh, about three more chapters. Or four…


	2. Chuunin Chapter Kit

Shikashikanaranara:…Just read --.—

**XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX**

**Enter: Chuunin Chapter Kit**

**Introduction: Now that you have reached Genin level, this kit will teach you all about Being a Chuunin.**

**Instructions: Pour out contents on grass, safer, no holes in the bed like last time! D**

**Be sure you don't loose any of the contents in the grass. And if you aren't a dumbass, then don't use tall grass**

**Put on new ninja outfit. Adapts more to chakra and flexibility (Taijutsu).**

**Wrap bandages around arms, one thigh, and between your knee and ankle, as instructed in the Genin Packet.**

**Strap your Needle pouch around the area between your knee and ankle. **

**Latch on Belt and strap weapon pouch on that.**

**XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX**

**Instruction: Take hook and wrap it around you diagonally, hook Katana behind you.**

**Purpose for Katana: Makes you look professional when reaching for a Chuunin application, and your look would pwn your peers. They would be SOO jealous! D**

**Learn how to use it too you dork!**

**XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX**

**Fill weapons pouch and needles.**

**Forehead projector. We found a new place for it.**

**-Tie it to the enemy's feet and watch them trip and fall-**

**XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX**

**Genjutsu: Being Chuunin, you should learn a bit of Genjutsu too. **

**Instructions: Steal the Forbidden scroll with your awesome stealth, if you get caught, then it means that you are not yet fit for Chuunin. So either way you know what you need. **

**If you get the scroll: Learn 3 – Google, Genjutsus. But learn at LEAST three in an at least ten mile away cave or clearing.**

**Once you do, practice. Pull pranks and blame it on the guy next to you. If they find it is you, release the Genjutsu and say that you cleaned up after the mess someone ELSE did.**

**If they think that someone else did it, then do it for real and let them take the permanent blame!**

**XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX**

**Practice for 6 – 12 hours a day, GET BETTER!**

**When entering the Chuunin exam, you will realize the obvious first thing, Genjutsu. **

**Make the other non-worthy shinobi gape at you as you smartly dispel the jutsu and say it was all you. Then obviously, someone will attack you for dispelling the Genjutsu, KICK THEM! Xb Then just continue walking with your team like nothing happened.**

**Beat up all the other Genin wannabes and voila. You got Chuunin!**

**When you go to collect your vest, make sure to show off your Katana and summon a big frog to take you away.**

**THAT WAY YOU WILL IMPRESS THE HOKAGE AND HOPEFULLY GET BETTER MISSIONS!**

**XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX**

**Shikashikanaranara:**I got four Vaccines today X REVIEW AND DON'T FLAME!

Stay tuned for the "Jovial Jounin Junk Kit"!


	3. Jovial Jounin Junk Packet

Shikashikanaranara: Ever wanted to know how to be a ninja? Your search ends here.

**XxXxXxXxXxXxXxX**

**JOVIAL JOUNIN JUNK PACKET!**

**Warning: Contents are not to be eaten unless instructed to do so**

**POUR OUT CONTENTS IN CARPET OR CLEAN AREA**

**Instructions: Take off Chuunin jacket and put on Jounin – level ninja outfit.**

**Put Chuunin jacket back on.**

**Purpose for Jounin outfit: Easy to move around in, Adapts to Chakra and flexibility, weightless not for long, pockets for weights or weight tags.**

**Slip on BLACK ninja sandels. More cooler XD**

**Wrap bandages around arms and one thigh and between your knee and ankle. Like before. Equip yourself with needle pouch and weapons pouch. Store soldier pill bag inside Chuunin jacket. Hidden pocket **

**XxXxXxXxXxXxXxX**

**New Forehead Projector Location!!!**

**Diagonally on forehead, covering an eye-**

**Strap on Katana as instructed in Chuunin Chapter Kit.**

**Always keep a hidden Kunai in a place easy to reach in case of emergencies.**

**XxXxXxXxXxXxXxX**

**Ninjutsu: A Jounin always has at least five cool jutsus up his or her sleeve.**

**Take it, the Forbidden Scroll!**

**If you get caught, then again, you are not worthy! **

**No, it is not the same when you were a Chuunin, because since they knew someone stole it, it would be in under more heavy guarding**

**Take it to a cave or clearing at least TWENTY MILES AWAY.**

**Copy at least five jutsus on one of your blank scrolls and seal it.**

**Just in case they find you and you didn't learn anything yet.**

**Start practicing the ones you didn't write down from the Forbidden scroll. **

**By the end of that, you should have learned at least one jutsu.**

**But, with the sealed scroll, you just learned six new jutsus!**

**XxXxXxXxXxXxXxX**

**You've worked hard by practicing, take a soldier pill, it will replenish your chakra supply.**

**Each Jounin has **_**something **_**special.**

**Kakashi - Sharingan**

**Kurenai – Great with Genjutsu**

**Asuma – He smokes……And is awesome with that thingy that is chakra enforced **

**Gai – Awesome Taijutsu **

**Find something special about you! Here are choices.**

**-Katana**

**-Weapons Although Tenten got it covered**

**-Interrogation**

**-Awesome stealth Goes great with Assassination!**

**-Perfect chakra control**

**-Knowing over on thousand jutsus without the Sharingan**

**-Never failed a mission**

**-Created over fifty Jutsu**

**The list goes on and on. But all of them are worthy of Special Jounin status.**

**XxXxXxXxXxXxXxX**

**Katana: Practice, practice, practice! Learn the fastest way to redirect your slashes! Find the easiest way to slash someone, and the most powerful slash! Find how to do jutsu with your katana!**

**Be the ultimate Katana wielder**

**XxXxXxXxXxXxXxX**

**Weapons: Learn about all the critical points in the human body. Strike needles with them, in a dummy. Make a few Kagebunshin and hit them with weapons in spots that will either kill them fast, or make them die slowly. Practice on taking out weapons faster than a blink of an eye! Learn to use weapons when ninja string is attached! Learn to use CHAKRA STRINGS! Find out how to use jutsus on your weapons as well.**

**XxXxXxXxXxXxXxX**

**Interrogation: Learn of all the places to strike without killing them, but putting them in great pain. Strike them in that spot to torture them and get information out. Release major waves of killer intent I think and scare them into leaking out information. Find out all of the ways to break the person. Spotless clean, white walls, Loud blaring music, anything to break them in any way.**

**Get the info out of them!**

**XxXxXxXxXxXxXxX**

**Awesome Stealth: Create Kagebunshin and sneak around them without being heard, seen, or scented. Shadow jutsus recommended Kill them all swiftly one by one, without a sound. Try it on your next Chuunin mission except with real people. Don't use any strong scented shampoos or soaps. Conceal your chakra. **

**Don't be seen heard or scented.**

**XxXxXxXxXxXxXxX**

**Perfect Chakra Control: Practice water walking, tree climbing, leaf sticking to forehead, chakra pillows, and if you can, then air walking. This will help you learn jutsus at a faster rate, and have more chakra in your supply. You will soon do jutsus with no problem!**

**XxXxXxXxXxXxXxX**

**Knowing over one thousand jutsus without the Sharingan: This process may take a year or so.**

**Steal the Forbidden Scroll and copy at least one thousand jutsus that you don't know of into several sealing scrolls.**

**Practice and learn at least three a day and after a year, you will have learned more than one thousand jutsus without the Sharingan. But it may take two years after this long process anyways.**

**Caution: This is not to be guaranteed!**

**XxXxXxXxXxXxXxX**

**Never fail a mission: Quite easy but hard. You must never give up and have amazing stamina. Write mission reports whenever you have to, and help out your teammates if any. Keep your identity a secret and question suspicious ones.**

**XxXxXxXxXxXxXxX**

**Create over fifty Jutsu: I would say, create five Taijutsu styles, twenty Genjutsu, and twenty-five Ninjutsu.**

**How?**

**Taijutsu: Kind of obvious. Find different ways of attacking an opponent with hand to hand combat. Pick out five that are more useful. Record and name them.**

**Genjutsu: Think of different ways to distract, or break an opponent.**

**Examples: Tsuyomi Sp?, The never-ending circle in the forest, and the ones where only pain can dispel the illusion.**

**Ninjutsu: Think of different ways to mold chakra.**

**Katon: Mouth, hands**

**Suiton: Hands, water vapor, waves, sometimes mouth**

**Doton: Earth, feet, hands, mouth**

**Raiton: Hands, whole body, sky, sometimes mouth**

**Many more! Think of all the possibilities. Think of what you want to do with the element, and create!**

**XxXxXxXxXxXxXxX**

**Be a special Jounin, and PWN in the Jounin exams! Good luck! Ja ne!**

**XxXxXxXxXxXxXxX**

Shikashikanaranara: Read. Review. DON'T FLAME! Give tips. And yeah.


End file.
